Wyther's Private Stock

antique liquor cabinet holding seven bottles of magical liquor


This antique cabinet is a sturdy, four-legged model made from solid oak. The top portion is lacquered and painted with an artistic representation of the Absalom harbor, and as a piece of art alone it is worth quite a bit. The legs are solid and embellished with gold leaf.

Inside the cabinet is a vertical rack that holds up to eight bottles of liquor, as well as two snifters, four rock glasses, four shot glasses, and a crystal decanter. When the cabinet was acquired, it had seven bottles in the rack, each one a magically-infused variant of what looks like a standard type of liquor: whisky, vodka, gin, rum, brandy, arak, and absinthe.

Whether through experimentation or magic, the bottles and their effects have been positively identified:

  • Old Bugbear Whisky 1010, a 150-year vintage of what would otherwise be an unpleasant bottle of rotgut, blended with flayleaf and magically amplified in purity, flavor, and potency. Drinking so much as a shot of this potent spirit is enough to feel its wrath: the drinker must make a DC 50 Fortitude save or be subject to the effects of flayleaf and alcohol for a number of hours equal to 20 – (CON mod). Onset of this effect is one minute. Success on the Fortitude save results in a shortened duration of 10 – (CON mod) hours. In all cases, the state of intoxication is ideal: relaxing, fun, and without paranoia, nausea, or hangover. However, people feeling the effects of this combination are frequently given to drinking more, and any intoxicants taken as a chaser are not subject to this blissful perfection.
  • Kyonin Royal Reserve Black Label is an extremely smooth vodka and rather a rare beverage in any case, being made exclusively by the royal distillers of the Queen and generally found only in the hands of royalty and personal friends of the royal family. Rarely, the Queen alone will authorize the creation of a bottle of “Black Label” reserve, which entails infusing the spirits with a litany of arcane fusions and, it is reported, dust from the Sovyrian Stone, itself. The result is a vodka as easy to drink as water that bears a strange connection to the mysterious homeland of the elves. Wherever it’s located, the effects of this potent liquor indicate it’s somewhere fun: for each shot worth of this liquor drunk, the drinker must make a Fortitude save with a DC of 30, with a -5 penalty for each shot had. This save cannot be voluntarily thrown, but failure results in drunkenness and permits the user to detect thoughts in a 60ft. radius around them. This effect is automatic: those within the radius do not received the standard Will save to resist this effect and are not aware that it is happening. Only an effect that completely shields the user’s mind can prevent their thoughts from being read, and in such a case, that person’s thoughts come across as a sort of dull static. In all other cases, the internal thoughts of all in the radius are made known to the user, just as plainly as they had spoken them aloud. The user can shift their focus to an individual to “listen” more intently to them and blocking out other distractions, or simply listen to the cacophony of many minds at work at once. The very existence of this spirit has lead some to point out that Queen Telandia Edasseril occasionally seems a little flush or giddy when meeting with heads of state, foreign dignitaries, and potential suitors.
  • 66th White Egorian Spire is a Cheliaxian gin, and while it’s top-shelf anywhere in Cheliax and a rare import elsewhere, it is wholly unremarkable except as a fine example of the liquor. This particular bottle, however, was seized from a ship transporting the noble family of House Charthagnion, who had it augmented to further lubricate their notorious business dealings. Almost exclusively served only to guests – generally using some sleight of hand and chicanery, or brought out once company had become a little soused already – this remarkably tasty gin forces those who drink it to tell the truth, and nothing but. For each shot’s worth drunk, the drinker must make a DC 30 Will save, with a -5 penalty for each shot had. Failure means that for around an hour per shot, the drinker must speak only the truth as they understand it. Most unsettling is the fact that the person so affected finds nothing incongruous or alarming about their apparent honesty, and unless warned by an outside source will be content to simply empty the contents of their head and heart to anyone who will ask. This honesty is characterized by a sort of confessional atmosphere, with the affected occasionally remarking utterances to the effect of “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but, hey, fuck it, this is just between you and me, right?”
  • Mother of Oblivion Spiced Rum is a rare variety of spiced rum made by a small distillery in the Shackles port of Bloodcove, reportedly by a coven of abominations who worship Lamashtu, the Mother of Monsters. Most bottles of this potent rum are delicious, although even the humblest among them is enchanted to make the imbiber especially drunk especially fast, to be especially violent and aggressive while they are, to stay drunk especially long, and to provide an especially violent hangover. This is not a commonly-known fact – if it were, one would be right to wonder why anybody would drink it. And among those that do know, most of them are pirates of the Shackles, who find the drink’s side effects to be neatly in line with their desires, Mother of Oblivion being a common way to get “fired up” before boarding. Rarely, however, the Cultists of Lamashtu distill a “special” batch for use in their own rituals as a way to commune with their deity. Reportedly, this involves using the blood of an abomination – possibly an eponymous Mother – as the material component in an elaborate sacrificial ritual. The end result is a bottle of dark rum that seems almost black. While it is functionally identical to its mundane counterpart in all other ways, this bottle has an even more terrible effect: after drinking a shot, the drinker must succeed on a Fortitude save with a DC of 40, with a -5 penalty for each shot had after the first. Failure turns the drinker into an abomination, as over the course of one minute their body contorts, twists, writhes, changes, and sprouts new growths all over. A mindless, savage monstrosity, the luckless individual spends a number of hours in this state equal to 10 – (CON mod). What precisely happens from there is still fairly unknown: any recorded incidence of this occurring outside the cult has resulted in either the messy death of any witnesses or the hard-won death of the drinker. On those occasions where the drinker has survived the ordeal, they have no recollection of the events that transpired while they were changed, though most suffer permanent mental trauma as a result.
  • Wizard Juice is believed to be more or less no longer in existence, but this bottle is proof otherwise. A delicious, sweet brandy, all of the ingloriously-named “Wizard Juice” ever to exist or will exist is in fact distilled from a single year of a single vineyard’s wine, a small plantation in Qadira that was swallowed by the sands decades ago. It is unknown what stroke of luck made the wine that year so potent – downright magical – but it didn’t take long for an enterprising young magus with a love of spirits to buy up as many of the bottles as he could find and set about distilling them, adding in his own, personal embellishments. The end result was what he simply called Wizard Juice, a drink that made him obscenely famous in his social circles for a time. Designed to be the perfect spirit for an academy student, Wizard Juice is meant to be served in snifters with a dropper. Combined with up to a pint of water, a few drops of Wizard Juice will spread and convert the water, allowing a single bottle to last a very long time. A single dropper’s worth is enough to cause a relaxed and pleasant inebriation which causes no hangover. Best of all, those who drink Wizard Juice gain access to the prestidigitation cantrip for as long as they remain under its effects.
  • Rayan Golden is an arak distilled in small batches by the nomads of Osirion, who trade the excess to merchants in Katapesh, Rahadoum, and elsewhere. The provenance of this particular bottle is unknown, having traded hands as many as hundreds of times, but one could guess, from its unique properties, that it was at one time owned by a nomad, whether of the dunes, the waves, or the planes. Drinking one shot of this potent, anise-flavored liquor gives the drinker an overall sensation of pleasant relief in the form of an endure elements and planar adaptation spell that lasts for 10 – (CON mod) hours per shot. Additionally, the liquor has an effervescent effect within the body that functions the same way as a necklace of adaptation for the duration.
  • Augustana Blush Batch ver. 3.85 is distilled only by a family of gnomes who operate out of a farmhouse in Andoran. Its name is not only reflective of how many attempts came before it, but of its intended purpose: the “blush” mentioned in the name is a reference to the bleaching, and the intended purpose of this absinthe is to combat that uniquely gnomish affliction by stimulating the senses with all minimal subtlety. Made from wormwood, it’s actually combining the distilled product with a mushroom tea before bottling that gives this drink its hallucinogenic qualities; the rumors that the wormwood is what causes this are rumors, only. The end result is a drunken, psychoactive trip, and for the average gnome, more than enough stimulation to stave off the bleaching, evidenced by the physical manifestation of a full-body deepening of color, or “blush”. Curiously, this expression of the liquor presents in other races, as well. And while all bottles of Augustana Blush contain psilocybin, only Batch ver. 3.85 is literally magical. The story goes that the family that distills the absinthe created one batch of what they termed “medical grade” under contract from Merina Bobbinneck, an elderly gnome who feared she would succumb to the bleaching soon. Terrified of death, the gnomish adventurer paid for an entire run of the absinthe in advance, but was tragically killed before she could drink a drop when she became bored during the middle of a climactic battle and decided a good sit down sounded like just the thing. The entire run has since been portioned out, one bottle at a time, to other gnomes who fear the bleaching enough to pay the incredible markup associated with this batch. In addition to its normal hallucinogenic properties, those who drink this potent spirit can act as though they had cast the spell veil for the duration of their inebriation. The catastrophic cost this can have on the world around the person who drinks it is what keeps the sale of this beverage so tightly regulated: how Wyther got a hold of a bottle is anyone’s guess.

Wyther claimed, with his valediction before death, that the cabinet was made by his father, and asked the men who had come to kill him to take good care of it when he was gone. Wyther’s claim is consistent with what they know about him from his journal, as well as the make and imagery of the cabinet itself being consistent with Absalom, where Wyther was apparently from. The maker’s mark inside the cabinet bears the initials ‘JW’, lending further credence to the assertion that the cabinet was made by a Wyther family member.

As for the liquor, it is unknown where most of the vintage, enchanted bottles inside came from. It is equally likely that Wyther had them commissioned or that he put the collection together over decades of plundering ships and settlements.

Wyther's Private Stock

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